Post natal depression

When Lily was born I was thrilled to become a Mum, but I was also diagnosed with post natal depression. I know some people that would say that depression is not something that happens to real christians. I guess those people need to read more biographies! (Spurgeon's and Edward's)

Anyway, when I became a mum my hormones were crazy and my mind was not right and able to deal well with a new born baby. So I faced the darkness of depression... everything was a cause to fear and hardly anything was a cause to rejoice... Well, God in his mercy sustained me and helped me to walk through that terrible time. And now, He has given me the joy of having another baby. My beautiful Gabriela is far from being the baby from the book that every mother desires but she is wonderful and a token of God's faithfulness to me. As every baby she has good days and bad days, good nights and bad nights. No rocket science to say that. The difference is how I cope with this. When Lily was a baby everything that happened was a prescription of how life was going to be forever. That's why after a bad night sleep I was devastated... I just truly believed that from then on every night was going to be miserable and I would never recover my strength again! Now it sounds silly but at the time it was terrible.

I lived in fear. Now I live in hope. If Bella has a bad day, I think "Oh well, maybe tomorrow she feels better" And I rejoice in that! God in his mercy has let me taste how terrible and hard is to live in fear so now I can enjoy everyday seeing hope at the end of the day. I am so glad that God's mercies are new every day and with every new born!